Grade: C-
A bunch of random nonsense strung together in the loose form of a detective story.
The city of New Ice York froze completely froze over, while you were asleep. You are our TOP agent. We’re counting on you, to fix New Ice York. No Questions Asked!
Magicdweedoo’s New Ice York is so offbeat it may be from a different dimension. It’s a top-down RPG/Adventure game where you play a detective very loosely affiliated with the police. There’s a plot in this game, but it’s some wacky ridiculous nonsense if you take it at face value. Usually, I wouldn’t write a review with spoilers, but the nuttiness of the plot is the central review-worthy part of the game, so you’ll forgive me for indulging in a recap.
Spoilers below
So what’s this crazy story?
It’s your job to track down the culprit of the freezing of New Ice York. You do this by interrogating a unique cast of characters and tracking down each lead. Your travels take you through prisons, grocery stores, apartments, gyms, pet stores, pizza shops, the sewers, and even the top layer of hell. But, of course, everything other than hell is very blue and icy.
You end up escaping New Ice york by participating in “wall trading” and finally finding your way up a magic menu to a high point in the clouds. Then, you jump off, open your parachute, and escape.
After you parachute from your magic menu, the world goes from blue tones to full color, and you end up on a tropical island where you solve some puzzles presented to you by an aboriginal chieftain. Finally, the last mystery is solved by putting your hand into a slot of some mysterious machine which then rips off your hand. After that, you get dumped unceremoniously into the ocean by the aboriginal chieftain.
The ending didn’t pay off
So ok, this is a lot. Well, does it pay off?
The epilogue involves the other two recurring characters (an anarchist and a criminal) whacking a mouse person over the head at the chieftain’s request and feeding them to alien cats. Finally, the game ends with your mostly dead character washing up on shore with “The end?” over the credits. If that string of plot points makes no sense, that’s ok. That’s the point, is that there’s no point.
Ya know, I never liked David Lynch movies. The disconnect from orderly and sensible plot always stressed me out somewhere deep in my core. After New Ice York, I felt similarly to an art movie, with a lingering feeling of “did I just experience art or simply survive a barrage of total bullshit?” Based on the lack of care for how the threads of this story connected, I lean heavily towards the latter.
What was the gameplay like?
As far as gameplay, New Ice York was quite simple. There were a couple of points of little platforming, some elementary maths in hell to fight off devils (?!?!), you fistfight some NPCs, and you walk around and talk to people. A few other mini-games are sprinkled in. For example, there’s a bug, Pepito, that you have to guide past moving spikes to get your items. (I feel like I’m writing greek, but I promise I’m just describing whatever this was…)
The main roadblocks to beating the game are the puzzles. One in particular involved illegal “wall trading.” There are wall holes with teleportation connections that you can use to trade out items specifically. Unfortunately, there are many rules and protocols to wall trading, and the description makes as little sense as the plot.
You’ll probably get stuck at some point, and good luck finding an FAQ or walkthrough for this game. None exists. The UI isn’t particularly helpful either. It’s all very rough around the edges.
Art was grubby and the writing matched it.
For art and writing, these were my favorite part. The art was wholly grubby and roughhewn. If you’re going to make an alternate dimension of New York, that’s frozen over, hardscrabble, and where everyone is “salt of the earth,” then this was art that went perfect with that super specific genre.
You could also find little pictures, writing, and silly things on each map, which were some lovely easter eggs.
The funny pictures on the wall are what kept me going multiple times when I was ready to hang it up. The game music isn’t bad either.
Processing…
Overall, I guess New Ice York was a memorable experience. It was different than anything I’ve ever played. I’m not sure if I’m glad or regretful that this strange alternate dimension exists.
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